The Cook Files vol 3: Sanji and Luffy
by AllBlueChaser
Summary: Thirty short fics/drabbles about Luffy/Sanji on various themes with various ratings. Written for the 30 onepiece community on Livejournal. New chp- Veggies. A female Luffy only has two things on her mind, salad and her delicious looking cook.
1. Curse

The curse of the devils fruit never really bothered Luffy all that much. It was fun and well worth being a rubber man to stretch and have that extra strength to protect his nakama and go after his dream.

Besides he trusted his nakama to save him from drowning and more often than not it would be Sanji holding his exhausted body to his chest as he kicked up to the surface.

Not really so much a curse at all when he thought about it like that.

Therefore it is easy to forget as he is running toward the water and it isn't until he realizes he isn't making any progress that he sees Zoro pushing him back while screaming in his ear.

"Don't go there yourself idiot! I'll go get him! Wait!"

His mind is screaming in anger and confusion at Zoro for stopping him…Sanji has been pulled down by those Flying fish and it is his job to save his blond cook for once….clutch him to HIS chest and be there when he tastes oxygen again. It's his job to protect him…and Zoro is keeping him from jumping in for some stupid reason and time is slipping away because those fish looked fast!

His first mate gives him a serious look and Luffy realizes why Zoro is keeping him from diving after his cook. HIS cook. SANJI.

The curse. Luffy would sink.

For a moment he wonders if maybe he'll sink faster than the fish are swimming and could free Sanji on the way down.

It is already too late to risk it he realizes and he is so close to panicking right now he isn't quite sure what to do.

Sanjis ugly look-a-like is laughing about how the next time they see him he'll be a corpse and it feels like he is mocking the strawhat captain for not being able to simply dive into the water and pull out his lover that had saved him so many times.

Then Hatchi is volunteering to swim after them, then Camie….and Luffy just doesn't care who goes just as someone does right now. He's grateful, but can't show it till this pain in his chest stops.

Someone please save him!_ Please_!

He is feeling what it truly means to bare the curse now…

Someone please save him, because damn it, he _can't_.


	2. Beginning

The first official meal Sanji prepared for his new captain was created in the small but efficient galley aboard the striped Shimashima Shopping. There was a humming of excitement in his blood as he scraped the chopped onions into the hot frying pan hearing them pop and hiss before giving them a quick stir. He had actually left the shitty restaurant a pirate, left the old man, was one step closer to Nami-san, one step closer to All Blue, and officially the new chef of a man he believed just might claim the title "King of the Pirates".

Sanji couldn't begin to imagine when he had woken up this morning that there could be a man in existence who could convince him to leave the old shit of a hero. That debt was old and cast iron…he'd long accepted his fate to live and die for that geezer and his dream until death claimed them.

Luffy had made what the cook considered impossible happen in less than a day.

He was smiling as he added the peppers and tomatoes into the pan next when Luffy entered the kitchen and sat down at the small bar counter.

"Sanji…." His name was uttered followed by burst of laughter and one of the largest grins he had ever seen.

"Hmm? What's up?"

"Haha…nothing…I just have a cook now! At last! You're my cook!"

Sanji smirked and turned back to the meal he was preparing. A simple, honest kid of a captain.

"Yeah...that I am." He's a little embarrassed if the slight warmth he felt at admitting his position again is any indication. There had been something a little possessive about the way Luffy had said 'my cook' he suspected.

"No matter what happens we're nakama now at the beginning of adventure!"

"Yeah…" He nodded as he laid his fist on the side of his blade and with a thump began to peel and chop a few cloves of garlic. An adventure, huh? Even now that sounded too easy to his ears. A mythic ocean? Finding some treasure that somehow proclaimed its owner as King of the Pirates? Both could just be fanciful lies but somehow following the man now sitting ON the bar made even that sound alright, as long as the journey was fun.

A kick sent the rubber captain off the bar and to the floor with a laugh as he adjusted his hat from being crushed. He didn't get up. Sanji added the garlic as he spared a glance at his captains' supine form that was looking straight at him seriously appraising the cook now.

"So if something happens between us and it doesn't work out…we're still nakama." He added seriously.

"Something….between us?" The blond repeated dumbly before he thought to turn off the stove top and remove the pan from the heat. He had a cigarette to his lips and lit in a matter of seconds before facing the now sitting boy on his galley floor. "Are you…."

"I don't mean now….or right away. When you're ready. I don't want you to think that is why I chose you, cause it's not. This is separate." He made a 'putting this aside' motion with his hands with such simplicity.

"Listen shitty rubber, do you even know what you are saying? What makes you think I give two shits about men like that?"

Luffy shrugged like he hadn't even considered it.

"I like you so I think I can convince you to like me. I convinced you to be my cook after all."

"The CREWS cook," He felt the need to correct this time. "and what makes you think that if I did, perchance, like men once in a while, I'd chose to be with an over active rubber brat of a kid?"

Luffy was frowning as he stood, brushing invisible dust off his shorts and vest but before he adjusted his hat back onto his head he was smiling again.

"Because Sanji…you'll want to be with the one you like even if you don't understand why that's me. You know deep down that I'm not a kid too. I'm the man that's going to be the king of pirates."

"Hmm…" The cook took a puff on his smoke as he considered his captain in mild surprise. Sometimes Luffy could be pretty sharp he supposed. He wouldn't have come if he hadn't respected him and considered him to at least sometimes have the maturity and determination of real captain. Not a boy. That said he still looked so young and inexperienced…he probably didn't really know what it meant to be with another man in sense other than friends. "You don't know me well enough to want…"

"I know you. " Luffy interrupted with firm conviction that the cook found hard to question. He took a step into Sanjis' personal space with that conviction still glinting in his eyes and the blond retreated, only to be cornered against the counter he somehow forgot existed. Any doubt he had about Luffys' intentions vanished as he felt a very adult desire seeping into the atmosphere around them. His mouth was dry and he felt himself start to sweat but be was already recovering from the sudden panic that had momentarily affected him until his captains face was right there next to his ear. "Do you want me to prove I know what I want?"

It would be so easy to say yes and have his lips taken. To say yes and probably end up on the galley floor in some sweaty tangle with this man.

"N…No. I believe you. I still have to finish lunch and…" He needed time to consider it fully, maybe after this business in getting back their navigator was over he would have better clarity on the topic. He had thought he'd fallen for her after all and yet with Luffy so close to him it was hard not to define those feelings for Nami-san as anything more than shallow in comparison to what was surging through him now. He wouldn't want to taint such a goddess with the sudden rush of very real, heated thoughts involving Luffy now seeping into his mind after that door in his consciousness was open to it.

When he saw her again or maybe when Luffy wasn't so close…he could really think about it. See what he really wanted, although he was already forming a guess to that answer.

"Okay! Make lunch!" Luffy patted him hard on the back several times with a laugh and Sanji felt the urge to kick him for changing the atmosphere back to casual ease so quickly without warning. "I just wanted you to know I'll wait till you're ready and you don't have to worry. You're still my cook and nakama even if you decide not to be anything else. So no leaving!" He was headed for the door and Sanji couldn't help but comment as he turned back to the stove to finish lunch.

"Shitty captain, I thought you said you knew me? Leave? Why the hell would I want that? I'm your cook right?"

"Heh! That's right! The best!"

Sanji could feel that large grin beaming on his back and knew he had given the right answer, at least for now.


	3. Axe

Information spread pretty instantly here, so it was no surprise that Sanji heard about the Okama Queen's arrival before she had even disembarked her ship. The thought of finally having someone in charge he could explain his grievances to (such as forced adherence to the okama way) and ask for help returning to his nakama from was enough to have him violently break away from his stalker fashion police and run to find this queen.

Long blond hair billowed behind him, the new blue baby doll dress whipped against his legs and stripped blue tights. He almost tripped a few times on his high black leather pumps as an occasional crack in cobblestone yanked the sole or heel off balance. This was his one chance to potentially get off this shitty island and baring that, at least into his own clothes again!

Along the way he broke a heel and cursed as he scooped down to claim the broken pump and continued with a limped uneven run. For some reason a parade seemed to have broken out now and it was hard to get to even see the Queen now. He pushed his way through the rapidly growing crowd till he stumbled out into the street in front of his target, heaving breaths and still clutching his broken shoe.

There he/she was. Large tight curls, ridiculous outfit, over done make up, and the shitty telltale crown .

He took a moment to straighten and pull a cigarette from between fake cleavage while the Queen watched him curiously.

He began his onslaught just as he had rehearsed it in his head. Lighting the cigarette and blowing out the smoke in the most masculine way possible.

"Oi...Shitty Okama Queen....I have a bone to pick with you..."

The Queens eyes narrowed and Sanji felt like maybe he had erred in taking such a direct approach as she yelled.

"Don't call me shitty!"

"Well it's shitty to think you can just force someone to be okama on your say so...I'm a man damn it!! I want to be a man!" He stood his ground.

"For such a pretty girl like yourself to say she wants to be a man so strongly, with such rudeness...it is easy to see how far in denial she is. You poor dear, I'll give you what nature couldn't not."

"Excuse me?" He looked around in confusion. What the hell was the queen talking about?

"Yes, you'd like some large breasts right?"

"Breasts?" Sanji drooled a little at the thought of those precious orbs of fleshy bounce that felt like he hadn't seen in so long.

The Queen was lunging toward him suddenly.

"EMPORIO..." She began.

"Sanji....MEAT!" At the interruption both the Okama Queen and currently cross-dressed, smoking cook froze and looked back in slow-motion toward the familiar voice.

"LUFFY?!" Sanji spotted his captain wrapped in bandages and held one of the okama's arms behind the Queen.

"Strawboy finally woke up? Huh? You know him?"

Sanji was already by Luffy's side and frowning. He didn't seem to be entirely there...

"LUFFY! What happened? Did they do this to you?" He looked around at the crowd pissed.

"Sanji? They dressed you up frilly too? You still have your kintama right?" He groaned and clutched his stomach. "Hungry..." Luffy passed out in his arms and Sanji found himself panicked and shaking him.

"LUFFY! OI! WHAT HAPPENED!? LUFFY!! LUFFY!!" He turned to the queen. "I need a kitchen now, damn it! And someone better explain what happened to my captain!"

Thirty minutes later in the kitchen of the palace Sanji had to sit down while his second roast cooked away in the oven. Only Iva (the Queen), her companion Inazuma, and Luffy were with him now awaiting his reaction after relating the story. Well the later was shoving food in his mouth in unconscious oblivion.

"So that's what happened." He looked to Luffy sadly. The hurt scowl looked all wrong on his face while eating. "Ace." He flicked at the unlit cigarette in his fingers in annoyance and sighed heavily as he considered his own feelings of loss. Then again as he considered how horrible it had to be for Luffy. He accidentally snapped the cigarette. "I should have been there."

Luffy choked on a chicken leg and Sanji stood up so quickly he almost got dizzy. The captain swallowed it, coughed and looked right at the Okama Queen with renewed determination.

"Iva-chan! Can you take another ten and make me stronger?" He clutched his fists and practically growled. "I'm too weak like this...I'm sick of not being able to protect anyone! First my nakama! Then my brother! How can I let all my important people get taken!!?"

Sanji began to move toward him but Inazuma held him back.

"Strawboy...! That was to heal you...to take your chance of survival to something other than zero..."

"What are they talking about? What ten?" Sanji asked. Inazuma leaned in and whispered back to him.

"To heal him, she injected some miracle recovery hormones...but the price is ten years chopped from his life."

"What!!??" Sanji felt his throat constrict around the word. Luffy had almost died and had ten years cut off just to survive...and was asking to give more?!

"But you can do it right?! Take however many years you need! Take them!"

"Yes...there is a vay....but..."

Sanji planted the one functional heel into Inazuma's foot.

That did three things. One it caused that heel to break off and now he was left with rather stylish flats. Two, it caused the victim of his foot stomp to scream. Three, it made everyone in the room turn and face the cook, blue dress, make up, flowing blond locks and all. The hell he cared about that now.

He stomped over to stand directly between Iva and his captain.

"What makes you think I'll stand by for one shitty minute and let you axe your lifespan in front of me?! And for all the stupid ass reasons!"

"Sanji?!" A flood of emotions crossed Luffy's face, shock first as obviously he had forgotten his cook was here, loving relief was next, and then anger as he caught up to what was being said. "Stupid?!"

"That's right..." He got right into his captain's face. "STUPID."

"I couldn't protect anyone! You guys! Ace! I couldn't save him...I could save any of them!!"

"Who didn't you protect? Who didn't you save? The crew? Take a good look shitty captain...I'm here and in one piece. Are you telling me you and I survived but no one else did?" Sanji grabbed Luffy by the vest and hauled him off the table to scream even louder in his face. "Are you telling me they died? That Zoro wouldn't take care of himself without you? That your nakama are THAT weak that they would die? That they NEED your protection to live?!"

"N-No!"

"And Ace!! From how I heard it you DID save him idiot!! You gave him his life and he decided he was going to turn right around and risk it to save yours!"

"He shouldn't have! It wasn't his place too! If I had been stronger...!"

Sanji growled and shook Luffy like rag doll.

"Then be pissed at your brother if you want but I can't say I wouldn't have done the same thing. Any of the crew Luffy! We love you damn it! That's why you risked your life to save Ace right!?" Sanji had to keep himself from adding that the swordsman already had made such a sacrifice. No need to complicate the issue or upset his captain further.

"But if I was stronger....Sanji...!" Luffy almost whined. Sanji sighed and loosened his grip and pulled him into a strong hug.

"Then train everyday with the shitty swordsman, get stronger....it's cheating this way Luffy. Cheating and unfair to those who want to be with you until the end. Don't you remember what you said to me at the Baratie? Ace saved your life...don't repay him by trading in on yours! I want to cook for you until you are a shitty old man!"

Luffy was hugging him back. There might have been a sob but he wasn't going to point it out...it sounded like the idiot finally understood.

"You'll let me, right? Luffy?"

A ding from the stove signaled the roast was done.

"Yeah Sanji." A sniff. "I want to eat your food forever. It's the only reason I'd let you go right now. Hungry..."

The cook smiled at that and squeezed him once more a bit more affectionately.

"Don't worry, with my cooking it'd definitely be worth it."

Luffy grinned a little as he pulled himself away from the blond.

"Thanks Sanji."

Iva and Inazuma smiled at the cook...it was obvious that thanks wasn't for the food.


	4. Stealing From Red

There are very few important things you can steal from a real man.

Their pride, their health, their purpose were all among the most substantial on the list and to Sanji, he had robbed the shitty old man of all three at once.

His survival had taken a respectable, feared pirate and turned him into a joke. Crippled him, and left him with nothing but a secondary dream he seemed to have crafted on the spot.

It was a debt he could only try to repay, but really didn't deserve atonement for.

Luffy can understand the feeling.

He was a thief too, he confided (almost happily) several meals later.

Shanks was an even bigger pirate and stealing the arm that wields some of the best swordsmanship on the sea was on par of stealing the leg with the deadliest kicks. Red hair and red leg.

The small rubber boy had also felt he was the carrier of some unbearable sin, but was saved in the end by the red haired pirate's carefree laugh.

It wasn't stealing, it was a sacrifice, and Shanks had shown him the difference. The boy was worth more than an arm to him. Wasn't that okay?

Yes.

It was okay because they were friends. It was okay because Shanks looked into his eyes and silently asked if Luffy would have done the same to save one of his own nakama and both had liked the answer they'd found. It was okay because Luffy had a new strawhat to take care of and a promise to fulfill.

Shanks had smiled and gotten back on that ship to continue on his adventure…

Luffy could look at his future cook and know the guilt he must feel. The weight of that unspeakable debt. If Shanks had given up being a pirate for him, if Shanks had been an enemy before hand, it would be impossible to understand an act that would go beyond friendship.

It'd be something that family would do.

So of course the blond cook couldn't see it.

This secondary dream. The Baratie. It would never be as important than the life of family, as the happiness of the boy he risked his life and sacrificed his leg for.

In a way, Baratie could be considered Sanji's strawhat. A reason to continue and pay back what he could while keeping him close and raising him safely. You couldn't just tell a child to go find a mysterious ocean for you, they would die trying too young, too soon.

Sanji had cursed to himself as he spotted the old man's smirk while Luffy explained just why smashing up the Baratie would be just the thing to do. He cursed again louder because the stupid gesture had actually worked and a damn, insufferable, lovable rubber idiot was responsible for making him see just what the nature of his relationship to the shit geezer really was.

He grumbled a final curse to himself in disbelief as he realized he just called the chore boy who was trying to take him away from his almost father _lovable_.


	5. Salad and Dressing

**Notes: **This takes place in that AU where the crew is gender swapped. Google it for more info but Oda did a little comic page about them this way. Essentially Luffy likes salads and Sanji is really good at making desserts. So genderbender! Yuri warning of some over the clothing touchiness. Also…FYI- A _tart _can refer to a dessert or a whore.

* * *

Sanji was leaning over her frosted cake in pursed lip concentration. The final touches on the sweet frosting's impeccably delicate decorations done, she sighed happily and piping bag still in hand swiped a slender arm across her curly brow.

Suddenly Luffy's arms were looping around her, hands playfully grabbing her soft breasts through the blue striped shirt in a sudden burst of feminine giggles. Totally shocked, the blond let loose a yelp at the molestation and accidentally squeezed the piping bag, sending a stream of frosting into Luffy's laughing face. Sanji's face burned and she tried to squirm away to little success.

"Damn it, Luffy! What if I messed up?" The cook hissed as the offending hands gave one last squeeze before being pried loose. Luffy licked off the stray frosting from her face with a large grin.

"But you didn't, so it's okay. Mmm! This is good!" A hand reached out toward the cake only to have a heeled black pump kick it away.

"Not for you, sister! This is for my clever and handsome Nami-san!" She cooed.

"That just means I'll get some later. " Luffy shrugged before remembering why she had come in here. "SO! Sanji! Salad!"

Sanji snapped out of the floating heart fantasy long enough to frown.

"Again!? You just had one! I worry about you Luffy…you really should eat more meat. You need the protein! Plus the vegetable garden can't keep up, what with the changes in weather, the salt air, and the amount the crew needs. Let alone what you want."

"Sanjiiiiii…..come on! You can make it stretch!" A sly smile as she pulled on her cheek lightly, making it redden in an almost blush even as it pulled away in it's familiar rubber fashion. "Like me."

"You know, I can't even show you the full extent of my skills if you don't have interest in something more than salad and shitty vegetables!" Sanji condemned lightly as she put the bag of frosting on the table and reached in her black skirt pocket for her hidden pack of cigarettes, only to realize this skirt didn't have any and her prize was back on her dresser.

"You don't think I take full advantage of my cook?" Luffy asked in a voice that sounded all too innocent and immediately putting Sanji on guard. These large glassy eyes looking up at her were just a ploy. Sure enough innuendo followed up the statement, trying to get the cook to blush for sure. "You want to show off for me Sanji? 'Cause I definitely want to see what you can do."

"Stop it…not here." The blond looked at galley door nervously even as Luffy came behind her and hands return, this time to her waist and over the rear of her skirt. "What if Nami-san or Robin-kun come looking for a snack?"

"Don't care. The captain gets what she wants and I want a salad or to make my cook happy." Her hand trailed down over Sanji's skirt and to the skin tight leggings clinging to the strong shapely thigh beneath it. She whispered into the blonds ear. "You look tasty too..."

Sanji felt her face heat at the touch and breath in her ear melt her arguments. She figured the look on her face would be enough encouragement for Luffy but as she turned to reveal her approval she spotted her captain's delicate fingers being sucked free of a fresh coat of frosting from the pastry bag. While an erotic vision, the cook's brain was reminding her she hadn't had her eyes on Luffy's cute features since the molestation begun. A worrisome distraction. Blue eyes flashed first to the cake, still looking exquisite, thank god. Then to the hand still running enticingly over the black skirt and leggings covering her rather nice butt.

Large white sticky smears and globs of sweet icing trailed the path her captain's hand had taken and was now rubbing in the obscene looking stains into her expensive clothing.

A curled eyebrow twitching dangerously was Luffy's only warning.

Zoro paused in her sit ups to sigh as she watched her captain slam into the mast from the force of an all too familiar kick. The blond chef appeared in the door way and tossed the swordsman a clean head of lettuce.

"Marimo- give that to her when she wakes up, okay?"

"Any message?"

Sanji chewed her lip a moment and considered.

"Yeah. Tell her she's not getting a lick of dessert until she stops being such a careless idiot."

Zoro nodded then nearly snorted in laughter as the cook retreated below deck to change and retrieve her cigarettes. She could make out a near perfect , white hand print standing out firmly on Sanji's rear.

"Sure thing, tart-cook."


End file.
